Emily and Oliver :My first short story

Emily and Oliver meet over the Internet and gel instantly, God knows why and how. Their friendship stands the test of time, each other’s moodiness,and above all,distance.They become really close despite the fact it all sounds so strange.
However, soon enough,Oliver begins to get attracted to Emily.He tries flirting with other girls to get his mind off her but realises, that he is head over heels smitten. And thus begins a great romance which ruins a perfect friendship.
Oliver decides to do nothing about it for the sake of their friendship (He is a naive and stupid guy) He knows that it ain’t gonna happen and has accepted it but is too fucked up and loves her just too much to move on. Emily on the other hand, knows all of this and acts like a typical girl. Waits for him to make the move.
And then one evening, A thought just hits Emily, and without really thinking she texts Oliver “Do you realize that it has been 4 years since we first met on the Net”
After this, there is silence. A very loud silence at that.
Emily is thinking-“Geez,I think it bothers him. Maybe he now feels frustrated and confined. Maybe my companionship is turning into an obligation for him. Maybe that is why he is just so sweet all the time”
And Oliver is thinking-“To hell with this friendship crap. Do it you moron, Do it. It has been 4 years you loser, she just spelt it out for you. But hey, What would I do without her. If she says no, surely we can never be friends”
And Emily is thinking “Am I attracted to him?? Naahhh. I like him a lot but do I want us to have a relationship. Sometimes ,I wish I’d really have time and space to think clearly. Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy. He’s hung around for such a long time and been there always.I do not even know how I feel about him.”
And Oliver is thinking “Hmm..So it has really been 4 years. Yeah, she sent me the Friend request in August 2007, which was right after I bought my bike. Fuck, it is due for servicing now.
And Emily is thinking”He is upset.I can sense it.I am a girl after all.We sense these things.Maybe he has sensed-even before I sensed it-that I had some reservations. Yes,I bet that’s it.That’s why he’s so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He’s afraid of being rejected”
And Oliver is thinking”And I’m gonna have them look at the transmission again.I don’t care what those punks say, its not shifting right. Damn you incompetent thieves. Did I reply to Emily’s text.Shit.Emily”
And Emily is thinking-“He must be pissed.He must surely be angry. And I don’t blame him. I’d be angry too. God,I feel so guilty knowing all this and putting him through all this.But I can’t help the way I feel.I’m just not sure and I do not want to lose him either”
And Oliver is thinking-“They’ll probably say it’s only a 6 month warranty. That’s exactly what they’re gonna say.Scumbags.Where the hell is my phone.Did I reply already?
And Emily is thinking-“Maybe I’m just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his horse ,when Oliver is a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly care about, a person who seems to care about me.A person who is in pain because of my self centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.”
And Oliver is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I’ll give them a damn warranty. I’ll take their warranty and stick it right up their god damn warranty ass.
‘Oliver,” Emily calls him on his cellphone.
”What?” says Oliver, startled at the sudden call ”Please don’t torture yourself like this,” she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears.
”Maybe I should never have . . Oh God, I feel so …. .” 

(She breaks down, sobbing.) 
”I’m such a fool,”
”I mean, I know there’s no knight. I really know that. It’s silly. There’s no knight, and there’s no horse.” 

”There’s no horse?” says a puzzled Oliver
”You think I’m a heartless bitch, don’t you?” Emily says.
”No!” says Oliver, glad to finally know the correct answer. ”It’s just that . . . It’s that I . . . I have some reservations.I need a little time” Emily says.
(There is a 15-second pause while Oliver, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response.Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.) ‘
‘Yes. It’s fine,” he says
(Emily is deeply moved.)
 ‘Oh, Oliver, do you really feel that way?” she says.
 ”What way?” says Oliver. ”That way about time,” says Emily
”Oh,” says Oliver (I have no clue in hell what TIME is she talking about). ”Yes.”
(Emily sighs and takes a long pause, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)
‘Thank you, Oliver,” she says.
‘What for? It’s me sweety,” says Oliver.
Then they both go to their homes, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Oliver gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Lays, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back then when Emily had called, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it’s better if he doesn’t think about it. (This is also Oliver’s policy regarding world hunger,the nuclear war,recession and football)All that he wonders is”Did Emily ever own a freaking horse?”

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Are you an Agony agent???

I know that there is no such word, I totally made it up.
After reading an Indi Blogger post today..something prompted me to write this.She has written about our intense desire to be people pleasers at a cost which sometimes harms our self esteem and how we cannot please all people.
We are social creatures and we need friends to be a part of this exciting journey we call life. When I was growing up, I did not have too many friends.Probably because I was too reticent and shy.But slowly I opened up and met some really awesome people.Slowly, as time passed some friends disappeared from my life and new ones came in.
Every man needs those male friends in his life, there are some things your better half will never be able to understand even if he is your soul mate. We can discuss almost everything under the sun with our male friends right from, Sachin’s batting in the latest match,to the hot chick who lives next door,The Lokpal Bill thingy and yes, you can just let loose, be yourself and abuse the crap out of your friends if you are frustrated guests and they just know.
Lately, I have observed that I have become an agony agent, a rant buddy for most of my friends. They will call me just to rant about things which annoy them. I have no problems listening to their problems when someone is going through a difficult period in their life. Believe me, I have been in that position myself a few times so I do empathize. But the issue is when some friends who are doing well and still call up just to to barf out (every time, without fail) how miserable their life is , all you do is end up saying ‘Hmmm’, ‘Oh No’,’things will get better’ , ‘Yes,  I understand,’ in every conversation, it starts grating on your nerves. I tend to zone out and daydream of ‘Being on the beach with Deepika Padukone ’. Frankly, I don’t want to do it but its is my body’s natural reaction to boring conversations.

For me a conversation has to be exchange of knowledge, ideas and information. There are so many things to talk about, you have music, books, movies and weather. I miss exciting conversations and the thrill of learning something new when I speak to someone. These days all the conversation are  peppered with ‘Aur Kya? (what else) a number of times because we are at a loss to talk about things.
Maybe it is in my nature to make everyone like me, hence I tolerate these stilted conversations. I can never cut off people or feign that I am busy. Even when I call to have a casual chat, some people have the knack to change the entire direction of the conversation to make it all about themselves and how miserable life is and how busy they are that they don’t have time even to breathe. Such conversations frustrate me and I end up feeling like a fool to have called up in the first place.
How about you? Do you ever feel like a rant-buddy? What do you do when you are a rant-buddy and you want things to change?

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Tall amidst the ruins

I never thought I would do a post on any sports person other than Sachin Tendulkar ,considering that I have followed him and his game like a crazy stalker since I learnt that cricket is not called “Bat-Ball”.Anyways,here is the post on Sachin.But today,The “Bloglight” is solely on the greatest Test Batsman India has ever produced-Rahul Dravid
I must confess that I have never been, and probably will never be a fan of Dravid’s strokeplay as such but if there was ever a team man you could bank upon to play cricket for your life , it would be him.He does not have Sehwag’s flair , Laxman’s wrists,Tendulkar’s grace or Ganguly’s silken timing,but he has a countless reservoir of grit.He is always prepared to graft it out,bide his time and will ultimately grind the bowler into submission.You will never feel that he is dominating the bowling or is in complete control.Sweat pouring from his helmet ,a grim look on his face-You might be misled into believing that he is struggling for runs,scoring 27 runs from 67 balls,but just try asking the bowlers about it.”We do not know how we get him out” is what they will tell you.
To him,Cricket is not a sport about poetic grace or effortless elegance.It is war.And war is always about survival,about making it to the end, unperturbed by the falling bodies of your fellow soldiers , just focussed on getting that flag on that mountain , and just batting on and on..Oops..I meant fighting on.
The physical effort that he puts into his batting notwithstanding,his game is more about the mental aspect.To live each moment of your career in the shadow of two greats who were always the cynosure of the public eye, being neglected like a step son and almost being taken for granted every time,and above all,dealing with all of this with understated nonchalance and a very deft sense of humour, never taking the focus off your game.Any normal human being would wilt under this kind of treatment,despite doing almost everything for the team.Not him though.
He would keep wickets to ensure the team’s balance ,lead the country astutely despite a publicly known reluctance just because of a lack of options and the fact that Sachin will not captain the side, even if he is playing alone in it.He would open the batting in Test Cricket whenever needed,despite a known discomfort and yet crack 3 centuries in four matches.Less athletic he will be deemed and take more than 200 catches for his country.He will be criticized for his “slow” batting and end up scoring  almost 11000 runs in ODI’s top scoring in a World Cup on the way.That’s just him.He just does his job.
The 270 in Pakistan , the 233 at Adelaide ,All those centuries in England (7 in total) along with numerous other efforts are etched in my cricketing memorabilia,but my favourite Dravid innings is the 180 against Australia at Eden Gardens in “THE MATCH” as we now  fondly recall it.People always talk about Laxman’s 281 but you should have seen his tenacity in that innings.He was struggling for runs before that game and I have never seen him so emotional and aggressive after scoring a 100 ever.Laxman subdued them with his wristy flicks and drives but it was Dravid who really dented their morale.14th March 2001 was the turning point in both Dravid’s career and Indian Cricket and yes,I was there
It is time that we honour and respect the contribution that this man has made to the annals of Indian Cricketing History.A more selfless and dignified cricketer ,you will never find.13000 Test runs,11000 ODI runs,200 + catches and 15 years of a stellar career,building an unparalleled reputation,I would only have one line to end this post
“If Sachin deserves a Bharat Ratna, Dravid deserves it twice as much”
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Spoilt for choice

Normally,in fact almost always,there is a dearth of topics for me to blog about,or as Varun would say,”rant” about.Today,however,I am confused and might just amalgamate the stuff going on in my head into something absolutely crazy.I choose to blame the month of August for this.So many so called “Days”.August just sucks 😛
.Friendship Day just passed by on the 7th,and I wanted to write this short story that has been taking shape inside my insides.Also,there was Raksha Bandhan on the 13th and since Yashi always complains about every damn thing that I do,I wanted to dedicate a post to her,the lovely nerdy jealous evil and belligerent person that she is.Just as I set out to do that,I came to know about Left hander’s day and the “sinister” or the “southpaw” in me, swelled up with this strange kind of pride,of being unique and I thought I’d write about the stigma that I used to face in my earlier years,to the awe that people exhibit,even now when they see me write,and why I can use my left-handedness as an excuse for being the clumsy oaf that I am.But as luck would have it,15th of August trudged along before I could do that and now I want to do a cynical post for NTMN , but as luck would have it,they do not require those kind of posts because the idea behind them is actually quite cliched .
This plethora of choices,is really not for me as I am,by nature,a very indecisive and perplexed individual.Since I am this confused,I’ll save space,time and energy and do something absolutely unoriginal. Nirvaan Baid’s 25 questions which he chose to answer with coffee,coffee,coffee and all other muck and crap.Have a look at his crappy version. I will finally give it a try as requested and Nirvaan please turn off the irritating buzz on your blog.It sucks.

1. Without sharing your name, who are you?
 I guess I am a fun loving,passionate,friendly,and a little eccentric and crazy person.I tend to be a little too cynical/sarcastic at times and am thus perceived as anti-social( Which I AM NOT).In a nutshell,I could be this simple,shy,confused guy who is decently perky when it comes to life’s material aspects (viz career,goal,wat to do) but a lost kid in a riot when it comes to emotional stuff.

2. Describe yourself in less than five words.
Funny/Witty/Sarcastic,Friendly,Focussed/Sincere,Voracious Reader,Emotional Wreck.

3. Do you have any special talents? What?
Special Talents.I believe I am very modest 😛 :P.Anyways,since this has to be answered,I guess I have a decent sense of humour and a penchant with the pen.Also,I can sleep in the noisiest and most action packed movies.I also have kleptomaniacal abilities which land me into trouble now and then,but mostly they are a boon in managing my finances. 😛 😛

4. Are there any talents you wish you had? What?
Wishes-Surely there cannot be a dearth of things to write about in this question.I’ll just be a wee bit realistic and wish I could just be a little less lazy and finish things that I pursue/begin.

5. What are your most important interests? What do you like about them?
Reading books,Listening to the Beatles and Pink Floyd,Watching the weirdest of movies and of course writing  random stuff.I believe all the above things expand my creative horizon and widen my thought process.The vicarious experiences that we encounter through reading or through movies,often ends up teaching a lot about what we should/could have done with our own personal lives.

6. What is your opinion of Lady Gaga?
Actually had to Wiki her to see what she’s actually done.All I knew was that she’s some Teen singer.Never listened to her music,so cannot really give an opinion.Her name is very irritating,though.

7. If you could go anywhere right this second, where would you go?
Right this second,I’m overwhelmed by this desire to meet somebody.I’d go there if only I could 😦 :(.Otherwise,I’d love to go on a Eurotrip .

8. What are your favourite foods for breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
Breakfast-Don’t usually avail this facility in the hostel,but Home cooked Poha would just about nail it.
Lunch- Having stayed out of home for 7 years now,I can proudly say that I can eat almost everything vegetarian under the sun.But my favourite food would be potatoes.I love them so much I could eat them RAW.
Dinner-Not quite a fan of the western stuff,but any kind of Chinese food would make me your slave.
9. Do you have siblings? Talk about them; if not, talk about being an only child.
I have a younger sister,whom I love irritating and fighting with.I guess I am more of a buddy to her,rather than an ELDER BROTHER.When I see other siblings though,I wonder how she puts up with me.I never give her any gifts 😛 😛 (There are a few coming your way,Yashi,if you are reading this)

10. Do you like sports? What teams do you support?
I am as cricket crazy as they come.The “Men in Blue” and the old “Australian Team” are my favourites.Among other sports,I quite like the German football team and would love to see the Force India F1 team do well.

11. Do you have any tattoos? If not, would you ever get one?
Needles.Blood.All said.No daredevilry for me.I feel it’s all “wannabe” stuff.

12. Have you ever donated blood? Why or why not?
 Ohh yes,At a donor camp here in IITB itself.Twice.It was a really awesome experience,and to top it all,They give you free Parle G biscuit packets.And we all know,G maane genius 😛 😛
13. How do you like your coffee and/or tea?
I like my coffee with lots of sugar and less of milk.Tea,I have not had  a sip in my 20 year long existence

14. Are you left- or right-handed?
Among the rare 10%.Proud to be a left hander.

15. If you’re in college, what are you studying? If not, what did/what are you planning to study?
Pursuing a B.Tech degree in Mechanical Engineering (Which I like in parts and gruesomely hate in others).I wish to do a post graduation in Business Management (Commonly known as PGDM or MBA)

16. What are some of your short-term goals?

Write THE Novel.Get THE degree.Get THE job.And bell THE CAT.
17. What kind of music do you like?
Beatles,John Lennon,The Doors,Pink Floyd,Emraan Hashmi movie songs 😛 😛 and A.R Rahman’s old work

18. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?
None better than the city that never sleeps,The city where dreams actually come true-Mumbai Meri Jaan

19. Have you ever been overseas? Where and when?
I will not write about a South Asian country and embarass myself.So,No I have not..

20. Have you ever been to the circus? What did you think at the time?
I got lost at the circus because I was busy looking at the animals.They looked regal.It was awesome.Though the rest of the antiques and the clown was ordinary.The Lions,the bears,the Tigers and the Elephants-they were just out of the world.

21. Are you wearing shoes right now? If so, describe them. If not, describe your socks/feet.
I am sitting on my bed so it would be weird wearing shoes.My feet-Well they are size 7 and a little too pink in colour,now that I notice them.Why the heck would anyone ask somebody to describe their feet though??The logic behind this question,escapes me.

22. List some things you’d like to do before you die.

1.Visit as many places as I can.Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara.Europe is on the top of the list.
2.Write the Novel and preferably NOVELS after that.
3.Own an Audi,earn loads of money preferably by working in an MNC.No ambitions of Business/Ownership as of now.

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The Dead Poet’s Society

First Thing’s First.If you have not seen Dead Poet’s Society,Close this page,close all other pages and watch it.Next,Walt Whitman has written some absolute magic which I just discovered and I feel bound to share my favourites.They”re called O Captain my Captain and Friendship

O CAPTAIN! my Captain! our fearful trip is done;
The ship has weather’d every rack, the prize we sought is won;
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring:
But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of red,
Where on the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up-for you the flag is flung-for you the bugle trills;
For you bouquets and ribbon’d wreaths-for you the shores a-crowding;
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;
Here Captain! dear father!
This arm beneath your head;
It is some dream that on the deck,
You’ve fallen cold and dead.

My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still;
My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will;
The ship is anchor’d safe and sound, its voyage closed and done;
From fearful trip, the victor ship, comes in with object won;
Exult, O shores, and ring, O bells!
But I, with mournful tread,
Walk the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.


And a youth said, “Speak to us of Friendship.” 
Your friend is your needs answered. 
He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving. 
And he is your board and your fireside. 
For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace. 
When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the “nay” in your own mind, nor do you withhold the “aye.” 

And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart; 
For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed. 
When you part from your friend, you grieve not; 
For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain. 

And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit. 
For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught. 

And let your best be for your friend. 
If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also. 
For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill? 
Seek him always with hours to live. 
For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness. 

And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. 
For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.

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Interpreting my Own dreams

There is a certain stillness about life these days,even though my days are decently busy with quantitative ability and data interpretation.(Yes,Another Engineer bites the Dust,or should I say goes the green way).I was not feeling too happy these days,it was as if something was missing-an incomplete jigsaw puzzle,a dream where you wake up just before it ends and then cannot sleep again,precisely that kind of restlessness and incompleteness in life,I was beginning to feel.Certain demons from the distant past have been coming back to haunt me quite frequently and I hate to admit it,but I’m having terrible nightmares.There is this constant ring in my ears which says-“I bloody did not deserve this”.Yes,maybe I did not.But why now,after all this time,when I’ve presumably become apathetic in that regard.This,too,I think I do not deserve.”Shift+Delete” would not work here,unfortunately.Anyways,I am only blogging to clear my own thoughts as I often do and hope to get rid of this absurdity I am dealing with,sometime soon.
Funnily though,it reminds me of the time when I,as a 9 year old boy woke up, realised I had woken up and started bawling like a boggart.I must have cried for almost half an hour before quietening down.I had just spent the whole day with Sachin Tendulkar and Sourav Ganguly.We had travelled around Kolkata city,I talked with them,they laughed with me,it was all so real-until I woke up.Naive that I was,I cried because I could not tell the wonderful story to my friends.Dreams,they can be so strange,so funny and yet so tragic.
I’ve had a couple of dreams where there have been absolutely Bollywood style bomb blasts with body parts flying and debris lying across,and I remember,waking up all shaken and sweaty in my AC room at home,checking on everybody to see if they were all safe.There have been dreams where all my friends from college,school and Kota would get mixed and these would be the dreams I would enjoy the most.My school friends with me,having Maggi Bonda at the Coffee Shack in IITB (which of course they would pay for) or even my current IIT friends at my school shouting B******* , R***** and other expletives and of course bunking school in the most innovative ways.These mix and match dreams of mine are really split your gut laughter material sometimes,mostly due to the utter confusion of “Ye saala yaha kaha se aa gaya”.
My favourite dreams however, are those where I think,or rather remember what I thought.I tend to get ideas on my writing through my dreams,sometimes and they tend to turn out quite decent when conjured up in reality.
Dreams.They can be lovely.They can bring back so many awesome memories.They can really inspire by creating something you have been dreaming about,albeit with open eyes.There is this weird magic in dreams,which take us to places where we might never go in a lifetime.Dreams-they are so vivid,so life like and so rich in detail and relevant.
Hope I get back my lovely dreams when I manage to sleep tonight.Enough with nightmares.They are just horrible.
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Poetry on Celluloid

The title of this blog post is exactly how I felt about Zindagi Milegi Na Dobara.I am a sucker for visuals and an even bigger sucker for poetry and that is one of the reasons why I absolutely loved the movie.Only thing is that the movie is a bit too urban and rich,so it is not that relateable a story.Still,I’ve compiled the poems recited by Farhan in the movie,which were really refreshing.

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