Emily and Oliver meet over the Internet and gel instantly, God knows why and how. Their friendship stands the test of time, each other’s moodiness,and above all,distance.They become really close despite the fact it all sounds so strange.
However, soon enough,Oliver begins to get attracted to Emily.He tries flirting with other girls to get his mind off her but realises, that he is head over heels smitten. And thus begins a great romance which ruins a perfect friendship.
Oliver decides to do nothing about it for the sake of their friendship (He is a naive and stupid guy) He knows that it ain’t gonna happen and has accepted it but is too fucked up and loves her just too much to move on. Emily on the other hand, knows all of this and acts like a typical girl. Waits for him to make the move.
And then one evening, A thought just hits Emily, and without really thinking she texts Oliver “Do you realize that it has been 4 years since we first met on the Net”
After this, there is silence. A very loud silence at that.
Emily is thinking-“Geez,I think it bothers him. Maybe he now feels frustrated and confined. Maybe my companionship is turning into an obligation for him. Maybe that is why he is just so sweet all the time”
And Oliver is thinking-“To hell with this friendship crap. Do it you moron, Do it. It has been 4 years you loser, she just spelt it out for you. But hey, What would I do without her. If she says no, surely we can never be friends”
And Emily is thinking “Am I attracted to him?? Naahhh. I like him a lot but do I want us to have a relationship. Sometimes ,I wish I’d really have time and space to think clearly. Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy. He’s hung around for such a long time and been there always.I do not even know how I feel about him.”
And Oliver is thinking “Hmm..So it has really been 4 years. Yeah, she sent me the Friend request in August 2007, which was right after I bought my bike. Fuck, it is due for servicing now.
And Emily is thinking”He is upset.I can sense it.I am a girl after all.We sense these things.Maybe he has sensed-even before I sensed it-that I had some reservations. Yes,I bet that’s it.That’s why he’s so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He’s afraid of being rejected”
And Oliver is thinking”And I’m gonna have them look at the transmission again.I don’t care what those punks say, its not shifting right. Damn you incompetent thieves. Did I reply to Emily’s text.Shit.Emily”
And Emily is thinking-“He must be pissed.He must surely be angry. And I don’t blame him. I’d be angry too. God,I feel so guilty knowing all this and putting him through all this.But I can’t help the way I feel.I’m just not sure and I do not want to lose him either”
And Oliver is thinking-“They’ll probably say it’s only a 6 month warranty. That’s exactly what they’re gonna say.Scumbags.Where the hell is my phone.Did I reply already?
And Emily is thinking-“Maybe I’m just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his horse ,when Oliver is a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly care about, a person who seems to care about me.A person who is in pain because of my self centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.”
And Oliver is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I’ll give them a damn warranty. I’ll take their warranty and stick it right up their god damn warranty ass.
‘Oliver,” Emily calls him on his cellphone.
”What?” says Oliver, startled at the sudden call ”Please don’t torture yourself like this,” she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears.
”Maybe I should never have . . Oh God, I feel so …. .”
(She breaks down, sobbing.)
”I’m such a fool,”
”I mean, I know there’s no knight. I really know that. It’s silly. There’s no knight, and there’s no horse.”
”There’s no horse?” says a puzzled Oliver
”You think I’m a heartless bitch, don’t you?” Emily says.
”No!” says Oliver, glad to finally know the correct answer. ”It’s just that . . . It’s that I . . . I have some reservations.I need a little time” Emily says.
(There is a 15-second pause while Oliver, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response.Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.) ‘
‘Yes. It’s fine,” he says
(Emily is deeply moved.)
‘Oh, Oliver, do you really feel that way?” she says.
”What way?” says Oliver. ”That way about time,” says Emily
”Oh,” says Oliver (I have no clue in hell what TIME is she talking about). ”Yes.”
(Emily sighs and takes a long pause, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)
‘Thank you, Oliver,” she says.
‘What for? It’s me sweety,” says Oliver.
Then they both go to their homes, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Oliver gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Lays, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back then when Emily had called, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it’s better if he doesn’t think about it. (This is also Oliver’s policy regarding world hunger,the nuclear war,recession and football)All that he wonders is”Did Emily ever own a freaking horse?”
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